Today, treat your partner the same way you treated her or him, when you were first together.
This tip alone will transform your relationship. That’s right – even if you stop reading right now, you can change your relationship by treating your partner the way you did when you were first together.
Can’t bring yourself to do it? Do what you can. Take small steps, and it will get easier. Simple, easy . . . and very powerful!
Start a list that says “things I love about my partner.” Each day, add one more thing to the list.
Everything matters. Keep adding to the list. Word to the wise: tomorrow’s tip will make this easier!
This is the “flipside” exercise.
For everything about your partner that you don’t like, focus on the “flipside” – the positive side of whatever is bothering you.
Is she constantly cleaning, obsessively neat around the house? How great to be married to a good housekeeper who always keeps the family home beautiful.
Is he rigid, stubborn, never changes his mind about anything? Your spouse is probably very loyal, solid, and predictable – and that is a wonderful trait.
Does she spend money like water? She is probably very generous and open-hearted with family, friends, and children.
And on and on.
For everything that you don’t like, there is a always, always a positive “flipside.” Find the flipside, and you will find it much easier to truly appreciate your spouse.
Say please, when you ask, and thank you, when your partner gives to you in any way.
“Thank you for working so hard for us at the office.”
“Thank you for studying so hard so we can have a better life.”
“Thanks for watching the kids today. I know it can be a big job.”
Please and thank you are so easy, and so important. Start today and keep on keeping on!
Are there things you really wish your partner would do more often, or maybe stop doing? Try this:
Catch them in the act! Not the act of doing what you don’t want, but the act of doing what you want.
“I notice you handled that very calmly and well. Nice work.” can make a huge difference for next time.
(By the way: this works great for children, too.)
Touch your partner today, in a way that makes her or him feel good.
That does not have to mean sex! Consider your partner: would she appreciate a hug? Can you kiss as you come in the door? How about a gentle pat on the shoulder as you walk by?
Try holding hands for just a few minutes watching television. Every day, small gestures of love can make a huge difference in your relationship.
Put down your laundry, put away the computer, set your newspaper aside and give your partner your full attention.
What is he saying? What exactly happened? How does she feel about it?
Uh-oh. Did you fade out there for a bit? Come back in to focus, and if you missed something, ask. Pretend you’ll be tested afterwards and really focus on the your partner’s comments.